Coming Out
I'm not really sure what to say here, so forgive me if I ramble. Anyhow, I have been thinking long and hard about things, praying too, and it occurs to me that God might finally be getting through to me on some issues. Given that, it seems time to come out of the closet. No, not THAT closet. The closet I am in is that I have, for a long time, wondered whether or not I should be starting some kind of ministry where I am. I've put it off forever. There's always some sort of good excuse.
I guess that what I'm saying is that it's finally time for me to admit that I may be having another "call" experience. It's been about 30 years since the last one, so the memory has faded somewhat. All that aside, for the past 3 years, I have spent most of my Sunday afternoons searching for and applying for jobs. I've long since lost count of the number of jobs I've applied for. Out of all that, I can only remember being interviewed for three of them. Out of possibly hundreds of "out of town" jobs applied for, I have never gotten an interview. After all that, I have to think that either I am either an unemployable bum or I just might be where God wants me to be.
Here's the other tier to this. In looking at where Patty and I have gone with the whole employment situation, it seems that we have been very focused on landing that "one big job" that will solve all our problems and get the family's economic life and identity back on track. Knowing how likely that is to occur in Lexington, we've assumed that this will be somewhere out of town. What we have NOT done, is to focus on how we can be where we are and make it work. We've not gotten as active in church as we like, because we had an assumption that we'd only have to move away. We've limited our relationships outside the home, since we thought of ourselves as transients. In short, all of our energy has flowed out of town, leaving us pretty much empty.
So here's what I see when I look at staying. I need to continue to cultivate any opportunity I can, rather than holding back. I'll keep trying to get Georgetown to at least interview me (never gonna happen), apply for everything that even looks good at UK (at least they've interviewed me), and generally look about, in case a "big" job opens up that will interview me. Meanwhile, I'll do all that consulting and legal work I can get my hands on; adjunct for BSK, IWU, and whoever else needs a "hired gun" for a professor; and look for new things, like technology consulting for other law offices.
And what about this sense of "call?" I'm writing a book on the emerging church movement. I'm consulting with people in the movement from all over the region. I've even had at least one group talk to me about coordinating things, should they start something. Through it all, I've been keeping it at arm's length (leaving town, so why get invested?), but the time for that seems to have come to an end. Toward that end, I think it's time to get a group of folk together for prayer and conversation about what might be done in this area. Give us a few months to talk, seek, and pray and see where God is doing something we might join. It may lead to nothing, a new church, or something that none of us can imagine, but we're never going to get there if I keep my head up my aspirations to leave town for some "major job." If you're reading this, and haven't given up on it already, consider it an invitation to venture an opinion and/or join in. Before I go, here are some preliminary thoughts about things that might happen:
1. I need to change my current church experience. My family and I like the church and the people, but Patty and I are not happy with the Sunday School options. I'd like to look into providing another option that focuses less on an academic appreciation of Christianity and more on spiritual disciplines. Rebecca seriously needs a good youth group experience, and we seriously have the best youth minister available. Where my schedule and finances allow, I plan to help out when needed.
2. If we all decide that we want to do something, I would very much like to do at least one thing that is a ministry to ministers, especially young ones. They work their tails off to serve others, but where can they get something for themselves? Some sort of weeknight ministry for them fits the first of the 2 microcultures that I feel called to reach.
3. The second microculture is people who feel that they aren't wanted by churches. The song "Breathe," by the Lost Dogs pretty well covers the fact that there are a lot of left out people in what we call "church" these days, and I'd love to do something that seeks to address that. I know myself well enough to know that most people with Aspergers share this particular drive, so I come by it honestly, but I still think it's the biggest mission field in our country and I'd love to go there.
4. If we decide to head in a churchlike direction, I would like to keep at least some semblance of a Baptist identity, and look for some support and cooperation with ABC and CBF folks (particularly if we decide we need "church plant" funds). It's more of who I am than for any other reason, but I kind of have to work with that.
5. Even though I am egocentric enough to write all this, it cannot be about me and what I want all the time. I would love to coordinate a group of people on mission together. I would hate to be some sort of cult leader. I'm very interested in cell-based and other collaborative forms of ministry, so I'm kind of wanting to talk and pray in that direction, assuming that we can get together.
That's it! Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying. Thanks for not just laughing at me and pointing. I'd love to hear some thoughts.
I guess that what I'm saying is that it's finally time for me to admit that I may be having another "call" experience. It's been about 30 years since the last one, so the memory has faded somewhat. All that aside, for the past 3 years, I have spent most of my Sunday afternoons searching for and applying for jobs. I've long since lost count of the number of jobs I've applied for. Out of all that, I can only remember being interviewed for three of them. Out of possibly hundreds of "out of town" jobs applied for, I have never gotten an interview. After all that, I have to think that either I am either an unemployable bum or I just might be where God wants me to be.
Here's the other tier to this. In looking at where Patty and I have gone with the whole employment situation, it seems that we have been very focused on landing that "one big job" that will solve all our problems and get the family's economic life and identity back on track. Knowing how likely that is to occur in Lexington, we've assumed that this will be somewhere out of town. What we have NOT done, is to focus on how we can be where we are and make it work. We've not gotten as active in church as we like, because we had an assumption that we'd only have to move away. We've limited our relationships outside the home, since we thought of ourselves as transients. In short, all of our energy has flowed out of town, leaving us pretty much empty.
So here's what I see when I look at staying. I need to continue to cultivate any opportunity I can, rather than holding back. I'll keep trying to get Georgetown to at least interview me (never gonna happen), apply for everything that even looks good at UK (at least they've interviewed me), and generally look about, in case a "big" job opens up that will interview me. Meanwhile, I'll do all that consulting and legal work I can get my hands on; adjunct for BSK, IWU, and whoever else needs a "hired gun" for a professor; and look for new things, like technology consulting for other law offices.
And what about this sense of "call?" I'm writing a book on the emerging church movement. I'm consulting with people in the movement from all over the region. I've even had at least one group talk to me about coordinating things, should they start something. Through it all, I've been keeping it at arm's length (leaving town, so why get invested?), but the time for that seems to have come to an end. Toward that end, I think it's time to get a group of folk together for prayer and conversation about what might be done in this area. Give us a few months to talk, seek, and pray and see where God is doing something we might join. It may lead to nothing, a new church, or something that none of us can imagine, but we're never going to get there if I keep my head up my aspirations to leave town for some "major job." If you're reading this, and haven't given up on it already, consider it an invitation to venture an opinion and/or join in. Before I go, here are some preliminary thoughts about things that might happen:
1. I need to change my current church experience. My family and I like the church and the people, but Patty and I are not happy with the Sunday School options. I'd like to look into providing another option that focuses less on an academic appreciation of Christianity and more on spiritual disciplines. Rebecca seriously needs a good youth group experience, and we seriously have the best youth minister available. Where my schedule and finances allow, I plan to help out when needed.
2. If we all decide that we want to do something, I would very much like to do at least one thing that is a ministry to ministers, especially young ones. They work their tails off to serve others, but where can they get something for themselves? Some sort of weeknight ministry for them fits the first of the 2 microcultures that I feel called to reach.
3. The second microculture is people who feel that they aren't wanted by churches. The song "Breathe," by the Lost Dogs pretty well covers the fact that there are a lot of left out people in what we call "church" these days, and I'd love to do something that seeks to address that. I know myself well enough to know that most people with Aspergers share this particular drive, so I come by it honestly, but I still think it's the biggest mission field in our country and I'd love to go there.
4. If we decide to head in a churchlike direction, I would like to keep at least some semblance of a Baptist identity, and look for some support and cooperation with ABC and CBF folks (particularly if we decide we need "church plant" funds). It's more of who I am than for any other reason, but I kind of have to work with that.
5. Even though I am egocentric enough to write all this, it cannot be about me and what I want all the time. I would love to coordinate a group of people on mission together. I would hate to be some sort of cult leader. I'm very interested in cell-based and other collaborative forms of ministry, so I'm kind of wanting to talk and pray in that direction, assuming that we can get together.
That's it! Thanks for reading. Thanks for praying. Thanks for not just laughing at me and pointing. I'd love to hear some thoughts.
posted by droslovinia at
8:42 AM
|
0 comments
